Wrecked toys, beaming smiles and zoomies – 15 things only Staffy owners will understand

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Staffordshire Bull Terriers are tiny bulldozers with big smiles and even bigger hearts.

The breed was crowned the UKs favourite in a poll run by our sister site TeamDogs, last month.

Staffies can often be misunderstood, and had previously had a poor reputation in the media.

But owners of this wonderful breed know what they’re really like – attention-loving, bed-hogging, food-gobbling babies.

Here are 15 things that only Staffordshire Bull Terrier owners will understand:

They don’t know the meaning of personal space
Social distancing with a Staffy? Not a chance. There’s a reason this breed is known as the ‘velcro’ dog.

The Staffordshire Bull Terrier will stick to your side like glue and must always be within a one metre radius of their human. They do prefer to be touching a person with at least one paw at any one time.

They get serious FOMO

Fear of missing out. Massively.

Close the door in the face of a Staffy and you’ll likely have a dog-shaped hole in the door around 0.2 seconds later.

They just love to be involved in everything their people are doing – and that includes whilst they’re in the bath or on the loo.

And it breaks their owner’s hearts every single time, because all Staffies want to do is make friends with everyone.

Staffies have had a bad reputation in the past – but were recently crowned the UK’s favourite breed. That doesn’t stop mums urgently dragging children out of their paths, or dog walkers crossing the street like you’ve got a shark on the end of a lead.

They’re more like seals, actually.

You’ll be expected to share every meal
Every single one. You’d better get used to saving your toast crusts and the last bite of your chicken sandwich, because the attitude your Staffy will give you if you don’t is no joke.

Whilst eating, you might feel drool dripping down your leg with a not-so-patient paw on your knee. It’s just your Staffy reminding you that they like to try whatever your having, as it’s far more interesting than kibble.

They can also hear a biscuit tin lid or a crisp packet open from the other side of the house.

And they really will eat anything
And everything – inedible items included. Socks, tealight candles, the sofa and my latest read have all been chomped on by Staffies.

Somehow, the Staffordshire Bull Terrier seems to have a stomach of steel, and comes out of most worrying scenarios unscathed.

Which means their flatulence is deadly
A Staffy passing wind can clear a room. Their silent but deadly flatulence hits you like a train and can leave owners heaving out of the room. Meanwhile, the offender lays belly-up in bed, blissfully unaware of the horrors unleashed whilst their pawrents were watching Coronation Street.

Toys will last 20 minutes at most
Expect to splash out on new toys weekly – and if you find one that lasts longer than 20 minutes, you’re lucky.

Staffies are super smart, despite their dopey demeanor, and can unstitch a stuffed toy in seconds – particularly if it has a squeaker.

Rope toys? Unknotted in minutes.

If you try to outsmart your Staffordshire Bull Terrier with an ‘indestructible’ toy, they will simply bark at it to show it who’s boss.

They’re inherently nosey
They’d make great journalists – they’ve always got their nose up to the window seeing what’s going on.

As such, your window cleaner, postie and delivery drivers have made friends with them from a distance.

You will find yourselves wiping snoot marks off the inside of the window on a daily basis, because barking at the birds in the front garden is just part of their daily schedule. And Staffies take their routines very seriously.

Zoomies
Champions of zoomies, Staffies running at 100mph makes for great entertainment but watch your knee caps.

The ‘bull’ in Staffordshire Bull Terrier is short for bulldozer.

They have no spatial awareness and an unbelievably hard skull, so if you don’t move out of the way of their path, your Staffy isn’t responsible for the bruises on your leg.

They have the best smiles
Staffies have an enormous grin, and they quite literally smile from ear to ear. Their giant smile looks like it could swallow a watermelon whole like a hippo, with big pink tongues dangling out of the side of their mouth.

Little Miss (or Mr) Chatterboxes
These quirky dogs don’t tend to bark much, but when they do, it’s unlike any other breed and comes out as more of a yelp.

Instead, these entertaining chatterboxes usually snort, snore, grunt and grumble – and you can practically have a full conversation with them.

Staffies have great singing voices and can be very sassy.

They sleep in the weirdest positions
From the Staffy sploot to superman. They sleep a lot – sometimes 14 hours a day. That’s a lot of napping time during which they like to practice their unusual sleeping positions that don’t look at all comfortable.

Their most common snooze pose is belly up, which optimises tummy tickles.

Suns out, Staffies out
Sun worshippers by nature, you won’t be able to get a Staffy out of the garden if the sun is out. And if they do reluctantly come inside, they’ll find the smallest slither of sun in the house and lie in it all day.

The dip between their eyes is the perfect spot to plant a kiss
These little land seals are too cute not to kiss 24952 times a day, and they’ve got a ‘kissing spot’ built into their genetic makeup.

At the very top of their nose, just between the eyes, Staffies have a little dip that fits a kiss perfectly.

Staffies love a kiss and a cuddle, and will return snogs by licking you to death. Who needed a bath, anyway?

And of course, they have the biggest hearts
Staffies want to love and be loved. These little bulldozers have the biggest hearts and are incredibly loyal to their family. Only Staffordshire Bull Terrier owners understand the affection and affinity these brilliant dogs have for their humans.